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MARRIAGE


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MARRIAGE: the  social institution under which a man and woman

(in love) establish their decision to  live as  husband  and wife

by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc., and

live happily ever after...or..            

    

      

Fact  or fiction (you make the  call):

    

    1.  Marriages  are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder

and lightning.

    

    2.  After  marriage, husband and wife become two  sides of a

coin....they can't face each  other, but, they  still stay together.

    

    3.  Married  life is very frustrating.

        In the first year  of marriage, the man speaks and the woman  listens.

        In the second year, the woman speaks  and the man listens.

        In the third year, they  both speak and the neighbours listen..

    

    4..When a  man opens the door of his car for his wife, you  can

be sure of one thing: either the car is  new or the wife is.

    

    5.  Marriage  is when a man and woman become as one. The

trouble starts when they try to decide which  one.

    

    6.  Before  marriage, a man will lie awake all night  thinking

about something she says. After  marriage, he will fall asleep before she  finish.

    

    7.  Every  man wants a wife who is beautiful,  understanding,

economical, and a good cook. But  the law allows only one  wife.

      

    8.  They  say when a man holds a woman's hand before  marriage,

that is LOVE. After marriage, that is  SELF DEFENSE.

    

       9.  Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

      

          

    10.  Marriage  is an institution where the man loses his

Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets  her Master's  Degree.

      

    11.  In  marriage, a man can have words with his wife,

but, a woman can have paragraphs with her  husband.

      

    12.  Marriage is love. Love is blind.

Therefore, marriage is an institution for the  blind.

    13.  LOVE is a  long sweet dream; MARRIAGE is the alarm clock.

      

    14.  When a  newly married man looks happy, we know why.

But,  when a 10-year married man  looks happy,  we wonder why.

      

    15.  Marriage  is not a word.. It is a sentence ... a LIFE SENTENCE.

      

Testimonials:

************ ***

  

    A long married couple  came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned

over,  made a wish and threw in a penny.

    The husband  decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over  too

much, fell into the well, and  drowned.

    The wife was stunned for a moment  but then smiled,

"Wow! This stuff really  Works!"

      

      Son: Is it true Dad? I  heard that in ancient China , a man

doesn't  know his wife until he marries  her!

    Dad: That  happens everywhere, son,  EVERYWHERE!! !

************ ********* ******

      

    

************ ********* ******      

      

    The  great question... which I have not been able to  answer is...

what does a woman  want? -Sigmund  Freud

************ ********* ******

      

************ ********* ******

      

    "I  don't worry about terrorism. I was married for  two years."

- Sam  Kinison

************ ********* ******

      

    "There's  a way of transferring funds that is even faster  than

electronic  banking. It's  called marriage." -  James  Holt  McGavran

************ ********* ******      

    "I've  had bad luck with both my wives. The first one  left me,

and the second one didn't."  -  Patrick  Murray

************ ********* ******      

    A  good wife always forgives her husband when she's  wrong.

- Milton  Berle

************ ********* ******

      

    My  wife and I were very happy for twenty years.  Then we met.

- Rodney  Dangerfield

************ ********* ******    

      

      

      Send  this to the men who need a good laugh ...  and to women

              with a good sense of humor.

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