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New Words for 2006

Martin Floyd

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New Words for 2006


>TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.


>BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was

>missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.


>SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on

>everything, and then leaves.


>ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and

>advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.


>SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream

>only to get screwed and die.


>CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.


>PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube

>farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on.


>also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)


>SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies

>turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay

>home with the kids or start a "home business".


>SINBAD. single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.


>STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and



>PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an

>electronic device to get it to work again.


>ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above

>the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often

>profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were

>designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded

>"administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.


>404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404

>Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.


>OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that

>you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')


>BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a

>booze cruise at 3am.


>BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home

>after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you

>live, how you got here, and where you've come from.


>JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical

>adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from

>the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often

>wear to show their level of training.


>MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive

>when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth



>MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:

>"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".


>MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while

>you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the

>unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you

>come back in.


>PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks

>like she's got four buttocks


>SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person


>SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive woman

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