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Martin Floyd

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Just in case you're stuck for what to write in your Valentines day

card........These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking

for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic

second line.

1. Thought that I could love no other

That is until I met your brother.

2. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's

empty and so is your head.

3. Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your


4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with

you, because I was pissed.

5. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not

6. I want to feel your sweet embrace

But don't take that paper bag off of your face

7. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes - Damn, I'm good at

telling lies!

8. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you screwed up my life

9. I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming

10. My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

11. My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe "go to


12. What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.

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