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English Irish and Scotsman

Martin Floyd

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An Irishman an Englishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar. The view was

fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional.

"Y'ken," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back hame. Why ...

in Glasgow there's a wee bar called McTavish's. Now, the landlord there

goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he

will buy the 5th drink for you."

"Well," said the Englishman, "At my village local, the Red Lion, the

barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin, there's

Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a

drink, then another, and another, and in fact all the drinks you like.

Then when you've had enough drinks

they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All

on the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's


But, the Irishman swears every word is true. "Well," said the

Englishman, "Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not me me-self, personally, no," said the Irishman. "But it did happen

to me sister a few times."

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