TonyT Posted April 18, 2005 Report Share Posted April 18, 2005 For the unaware, there is a slight difference between private schools and comprehensives in Britain. The Department of Education has realised this and has revised the secondary Maths Exam papers accordingly. Attached are the most recent maths exam papers for your reference. MATHS TEST FOR COMPREHENSIVES Name _____________________________ Nickname__________________________ Gang Name________________________ 1. Simon has 0.5 kilos of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Matt for 300 quid and 90 grams to Ollie for 90 quid, what is the street value of the rest of his hold? 2. Damon pimps 3 bitches. If the price is GBP40 a ride, how many jobs per day must each bitch perform to support Damon's GBP500 a day coke habit? 3. Crackster wants to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for 7,000 quid to make a 20% profit. How many grams of Strychnine will he need? 4. Trev got 6 years for murder. He also got GBP350,000 for the hit. If his common law wife spends GBP33,100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out? Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Trev get for killing the slapper that spent his money? 5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square metres and the average letter is 1 square metre, how many letters can be sprayed with eight fluid ounce cans of spray paint with 20% extra paint free ? 6. Liam steals Jordan's skateboard. As Liam skates away at a speed of 35mph, Jordan loads his brother's Armalite. If it takes Jordan 20 seconds to load the gun, how far will Liam have travelled when he gets whacked? MATHS TEST FOR PRIVATE SCHOOLS Name______________________________________________ _____________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________________________ ________________________________________ (If longer please continue on a separate sheet) School _______________________________________________ Daddy's/Mummy's Company ____________________________ 1. Harry smashes up the old man's car, causing x amount of damage and killing 3 people. The old man asks his local Chief Constable to intervene in the court system, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of y. The difference between x and y is three times the life insurance settlement for the three dead people. What kind of car is Harry driving now? 2. Fiona's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand products for the designer goods favoured by her employer. In the course of a month she saves the price of a return ticket to Fiji and Fiona doesn't even notice the difference. Is she thick or what? 3. Tristram fancies the **** off a certain number of debutants, but he only has enough Rohypnol left to render 33.3% unconscious. If he has 14 tablets of Rohypnol, how is he ever going to shag the other two thirds? 4. If Verity throws up 4 times a day for a week she can fit into a size 8 Versace. If she only throws up 3 times a day for two weeks, she has to make do with a size 10 Dolce & Gabbana. How much does liposuction cost? 5. Henry is unsure about his sexuality. Three days a week he fancies women. On the other days he fancies men, ducks and vacuum cleaners. However he only has access to the Hoover every third week. When will he stand for parliament? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dombcl Posted April 18, 2005 Report Share Posted April 18, 2005 Are you as busy down south as I am up North. Just need to dust down the ark and we'll be of for a cruise for 40 days! When will it stop raining! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeilT Posted April 18, 2005 Report Share Posted April 18, 2005 Good post Tony !!! as for rain.... mnnnn I have been out for a couple of hours to day putting up garden stake boards... and got very wet !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyT Posted April 18, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2005 Wet? Wet? It's lovely down here today- not a cloud in the sky- I think everyone is in their gardens or down at the coast. The town is dead today, no-one about, so yes I'm quiet ;D :'( Tony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 18, 2005 Report Share Posted April 18, 2005 Hey...that's redneck humor! Y'all from Texas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 18, 2005 Report Share Posted April 18, 2005 Hey...that's redneck humor! Y'all from Texas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyT Posted April 19, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2005 Hi Henners, No m8, sussex UK, although some might say we're rednecks down here ;D Tony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dombcl Posted April 19, 2005 Report Share Posted April 19, 2005 By all accounts you're in for a soaking today!!!! From sunny Lancashire Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeilT Posted April 19, 2005 Report Share Posted April 19, 2005 Mnnn, well rainy Manchester.. this morning.. is sunny!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyT Posted April 19, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2005 Midday and so far it's dry, sunny with scattered clouds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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